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I want to go back to California I wish I never met him I wish I knew what I wanted and was strong minded enough at that time of my life to not ruin shit for myself instead of planning my life there here I would’ve been ahead already and ready to love maybe even start a family what had me go for it why was I so stupid to fall for him he doesn’t even tell me he misses me what does that say about who I am now every time I look at a lover I look at how it ends because I can’t bare this pain anymore I wish it was just gone sometimes I want to go back to drugs because I can’t bare that I have feelings hurt so deeply but then I remember I have more things to worry about like the fact I’m possibly dying from my brain tumor


